Some of my very dear friends have been going through some very sad difficult times with children. I cut out this piece about 35 years ago, or so, placing it on my fridge for our children to view. (I had all kinds of 'pieces' for the children to read & think about, covering the front of the fridge. My daughter, Cari said one day that she read it often.)
This piece is browned & terribly worn around the edges from exposure to time. Every person who has come into the kitchen has always stopped to read it.
May you know, my friends, the hardest thing in the world is to stand by & watch your child flounder because they are too stubborn to listen to reason. Your heart breaks, the tears flow, the pain is often insurmountable ... but thru love & faith & prayer you are able to stand aside & let them know you are there to support them, despite their choices & attitude & stubborn pride.
Never stop letting them know you love them, keep the hand extended in forgiveness & love ... one day, there is always hope that their hearts will be filled with love & understanding & they will return.
They, too, one day will become parents ...
~~~ ~~~ ~~~
Parents have rights, too. I had the right to say, "I cannot keep you from doing what you want to do, but I can let you know that I do not approve, & am now declaring your behavior 'off limits'.
I learned that our child(ren) was not making me miserable. I was making myself miserable.
I learned that it was easier to live without my child than to tolerate the pain.
At first, I resisted all these ideas. I said : 'I can't do it. My children are my life.' Then I was asked, 'And how is your life'. I replied, 'It's hell.'
I learned that if my child was not willing to change, I had to change as a matter of survival. It was not easy, but I did it..
I learned that I couldn't save my children from (their) self. I now know that people must accept the consequences of their behavior. That is how they learn & grow.
I wrote this letter for two reasons: to let parents know that it is never too late to assert their rights, & that children should get the message that they cannot dump garbage on their parents & not suffer the consequences when the roof caves in.